If you have more than one kid at home, then it is very obvious that they will get into quarrels and fight with each other.
As a parent, you have to stop them from developing this habit within themselves and teach them the importance of peace and brotherhood. The key idea is to control your temper and not get agitated.
Ways That Dads Can React To Stop Their Kids From Fighting
The first thing to do when your kids are fighting is to not yell at them. It may be difficult to control your temper, but you have to make the best efforts. Parents are in control of creating the setting and ambiance within the house.
If you yell at them all the time, they will pick up the habit and yell at each other later. Try to create a situation where people in the house know to resolve situations peacefully.
Interfere in the affair actively
Often parents see their kids fighting and just shout phrases like ‘Stop fighting!’ or ‘Don’t make a fuss!’ This is not going to be effective in the long run. Kids will ignore you and not take your scoldings seriously and continue to fight.
What needs to be done instead is that you need to intervene in the matter while being completely present in the situation. Communicate with them first, find out what’s wrong, and then try finding a solution peacefully.
Never tolerate mean activities
While you strive to make peace during a fight, also make sure you do not encourage the kids to yell or hit each other or say inappropriate things. Because this will simply escalate the argument into a yelling or punching game, and there will be nothing left for you to do to control the situation.
Parenting needs consistency, and it is very difficult to enforce a consequence later on. Identify whose behavior triggered the fight and take necessary actions peacefully.
Help kids to learn to solve their disputes on their own
In case of mild fights, parents may not always try to swoop in and decide for their kids. Through this process, kids will never learn interpersonal skills that are integral to their future life.
So, do participate in the matter but only to help the kid to figure out how he/she can solve the dispute themselves. Teach your kids that the ideal solution to a disagreement is talking and resolving the matter, not arguing or unnecessarily blaming each other.
Using role play to help your kids resolve arguments
Always remember that your kids have the least idea about conflict resolution and the way it works. So, it is your responsibility to familiarise them with it. One of the effective ways to do this is to practice roleplaying specific situations.
For example, ask them,’ Your elder sibling just took away your toy or ate your chocolate. What do you do?’ Let them have options, and if you can have them act out the scenario, it is an effective method.
Encourage your kids to have alone time
Maybe, in the holidays, or on weekends, the whole family has to stay together all the time. Often, this can lead to situations where kids end up fighting with their siblings. So, ask them to spare some time for themselves and spend that time with themselves doing a fun activity.
They may not necessarily be with their siblings at that time. Taking a short break, even for twenty minutes, will help them to adjust to their co-existing situation more comfortably.
Spend time with your kids
Yes. You will not have the opportunity to spend time with your kids, always throughout the day. But make sure you take out some time from your regular schedule for your kids. Kids usually tend to be agitated and keen to get into arguments when they feel left out.
Use your time together to play something or perform activities that redirect their energy to cooperative action. This way, they will learn to play or perform without getting into fights quickly.
Don’t forget to compliment your kids
Always try to be a flexible parent to kids. Besides scolding them for their incorrect behavior, also praise them when you see them getting along well with their siblings. Parents usually start taking correct behavior by their kids for granted and are irritated by bad habits.
Repeating negative comments will deconstruct the mindset of kids and will make them feel they are just impossible to be handled. Therefore, try as much as you can to instigate positive feelings in them.
Specify ‘house rules’
If you notice that there are specific household issues that your kids are generally found to be disagreeing on very frequently, set up house rules and regulations that everyone needs to follow rigorously.
For instance, the last piece of cake or chocolate must be divided equally between the siblings. Or, they must take turns for their favorite seats in the car. This will reduce the risks of your kids getting into a fight and will make things simpler for you.
Assigning cooperative activities
Another great way to promote peace and brotherhood between siblings is to let them do cooperative chores together. Even after they have had a very bad fight, ask them to wash the dishes or clean the garden together.
This way, they will soon realize their mistakes and end up shelving the sibling rivalry and work together cooperatively. Kids usually don’t stay focused on an issue for long and will forget the dispute very easily and get back to playing together.
Remove the cause of the problem
It is always to better address the root of the problem between your kids. Identify what the particular matter or thing is that your kids are fighting over and try to remedy that. If they are fighting over a toy or video games, take away the things and ask them to go and do something else.
Also, make them understand that it is never wise to fight over possessions and also that our relationships are far more important for us.
Let them be on the same team
If you are playing a game or doing an activity that needs teams to be made, don’t always let your kids be on competing terms with each other. For a change, place them in the same team and let them play together.
This will be an effective way to help them understand each other better and improve their relationship with each other. Let them understand that things can be done cooperatively by maintaining a good connection and not always competitively.
Reward them for being nice to each other
Yes. Kids are generally encouraged to keep up their good behavior when you praise them openly. Also, to make things better, you can reward them every time you are satisfied with their behavior.
Note down all the good things the siblings do for each other and make them remember the happy times even if they get into a fight. This would be extremely helpful for controlling your kid’s attitude towards their siblings, and this is a way of effective parenting.
Transfer power regularly
To make sure your kids get equal attention within the house and they don’t think for once that they are being less favored by you in comparison to their siblings, shift power between them regularly.
For example, let one kid take full control for a week and the other one for the next week. The one in power gets to decide everything. This will be an excellent way to make your kids responsible and learn to be obtained as well.
Let your kid decide the consequences
Instead of trying too hard yourself, let your kids take the lead, now and then. Let them decide what consequences they must expect whenever they fight with their siblings. You can help them to make a list.
Let them find newer ways to get along with each other and help them in every way you can. This way, kids will already be aware of the ill effects of fighting, and they will try to avoid it as much as possible.
Have specific regulations within the car
Kids have a tendency of constantly bugging each other while they are in the car, and you may face a hard time driving and constantly look after them at the same time; so, approach the method smartly and say something like,’ If you kids promise to be nice throughout the ride, there’s ice cream for you.’
This ought to keep them settled. And, if they break into a fight, always pull over to a side, and resolve the situation first.
Encourage positive thinking
Positive thinking is the primary source of instigating peace and happiness in us. And the practice must begin at an early age. Fights usually turn out to be terrible when kids are not trained to look at the positive things in life and focus more on the negative aspects.
Also, teach your kids the importance of thinking optimistically and why peace and cooperation are so important for us. Teach them to be kind and understanding, considering how other people feel.
Teach them to pray
Praying to God is a good way of creating peace with others. Always teach your kid to believe in a higher power, and pray to It whenever they are upset or frustrated about something.
Teach them to pray for themselves and also for other people as well. Let them understand that their siblings are their closest people and family matters most. Ask them to pray for the well-being of their brother/sister as well. This will eventually promote better understanding.
Let them write notes to each other
Your kids must never be stubborn about anything. If they have had a rough fight, they must also know to resolve it quickly so that ten bitterness does not develop between them.
Teach them that there is no harm in asking for an apology or forgiving someone for their mistakes. Ask them to write down notes to each other saying,’ I’m sorry. I believe I acted rather harshly.’ Or, ‘Fighting is useless. Let’s solve our disputes and be friends again.’
Ask them to note down their grudges
If your kid is complaining about someone, ask them to write down their complaints and discuss in brief the problems they are having with that person. Unlike grownups, kids are simpler to tackle.
They will probably dread the task or get bored while doing it. They will eventually consider it a waste of time and go about doing something else that grabs their interest. If they do write about their grudges, ask them to let go of these trivial matters.
Let them spend some time outside
If your kids have been fighting for a long time, ask them to take a break and take a quick stroll in the garden separately. You can also ask them to do some physical activities on their own.
This will let them spend some time outdoors, and it can help immensely in taking their mind off the fight and focus on the better things. They will be able to burn their energy for a good cause rather than fighting unnecessarily.
Creating practical examples
Remember that kids learn from their parents and imbibe the behavior they observe around themselves. So, if you want your kids to stop fighting, you will have to set an example for yourself first.
Even if the smallest of your everyday affairs, never get heated and try to solve matters peacefully. When your kids see how you approach your problem, they will probably do the same themselves, and this will make your job of parenting them much easier and convenient.
Kids must always be handled with extra care and concern. What you develop in them today is what they practice when they grow old. From a very young age, they must know the correct way to approach and solve a problem. This will be helpful to them in the later years, and they can pass on the knowledge to others.
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Mother of Two children. I’m a former teacher with a background in child development and a passion for Good parenting. I understand child development and know how to develop activities to help children learn and grow. Spare time, I enjoy spending time with my family, reading, and volunteering in my community.