A woman carries her baby for 9 months in the womb and then delivers a new life where she learns nurturing and loving selflessly. It’s a learning process. The same goes for a man who becomes a partner to witness the woman’s journey of pregnancy and learns the idea and responsibility of fathering a newborn.
How to understand that your husband is not ready to be a kid?
- Your husband is getting irritated when you are having conversations of a kid.
- He doesn’t like the idea of giving up his habits only to become a dad.
- He strays away from responsibility.
- He tends to stay away from kids and keeps saying that he is alright without them.
Getting entitled to be ‘parents’ is like a lifetime tag which cannot be untagged. When a man cannot connect to a woman’s needs while she is expecting, or drifts himself from all the trouble and becomes a mere spectator then it’s a warning sign for a woman that her man is not ready to become a Dad.
Signs That He is Not Ready to Be Dad
Pregnancy, dealing with infant and toddler, a teenager, and later an adult is an evolutionary process and teamwork. How do you know that your man is not yet prepared for this journey of fatherhood? Look for these 20 red flags in your Man before you hit the parent button!
He is scared to have children
Some men are very particular noise of protection while in their relationship with a woman. If this for the sole purpose of avoiding fatherhood, then for sure your Man is not ready. If he freaks out with the slightest thought of bearing a child, then that’s a red flag for the ladies.
If a man is ready to be a father, then he needs to be responsible in every way. He has to have the ability to earn and protect his family from all oddities. You can judge him by the way he is living his life, his expenses, savings, and overall take on his decisions. If he still lingers with teenage views, then you need to be careful.
Never Talks about having kids
A serious and committed relationship needs to take the next step to have a family together. Kids strengthen the bond and if your man avoids talking about it or even brushes of your thought of bearing a child, then that raises a red flag.
Your man can be considered only if he wants to reach a point in his career if no reasons stand strong to hold his opinions on not being ready to have a child, then this is serious.
A Nurturing and Caring Man
Your Man might confess his love to you after every few minutes, he may shower you with gifts and flowers. But do you consider that to be a criterion of a strong relationship? You look for a shoulder to lean on, a nurturing man who puts you above everything.
You cannot consider your Man to be Dad if he lacks the quality to nurture. He should be able to understand your feelings and reciprocate with greater understanding. If not, then how would he nurture a little being! Also, he will not take care of pregnant wife.
Babies are adorable and it’s awesome to have one but they are expensive to maintain. How will your man help you in raising your kid when he has no savings? A man who cannot sacrifice his unnecessary needs and save for the future is definitely not ready to be a Dad.
His reaction while dealing with other kids
Your man needs to enjoy the company of kids around. If he gets annoyed with kids throwing tantrums on their parents on public and nagging for chocolate, then definitely he is intolerable towards kids.
If your man is friendly towards other children and plays with them or laughs with them, then that’s a good sign to plan a family, else, u need to give it a thought. An unready dad can be responsible for Negative emotions in Kids.
Staying away from friends who have kids
At some point in time, you will be surrounded by a bunch of friends who are parents already. If a man finds himself alone in this group, he should try and plan for a family. But without even trying, he avoids the company of friends with kids as obviously, they speak about fathering and diapering and raising a kid, then that’s a red the flag that he is not mentally ready to be a father.
He’s not ready to move on
All of us have a social circle and social life before we become parents. The carefree attitude and casual nature are totally relatable but as you decide to raise a kid, you need to minus such kind of social life. You can have a different kind of fun because with kids there is a different joy. If your man is not willing to get rid of his social life and still wants to live the same way, then he is not ready to be a Dad.
Not having strong family ties
All of us have been brought up in a different family setting. There are some who live with strong ties with parents, siblings, and relatives. They always want to expand their family as they have seen the positive side of being with each other.
But there are a few, who must have had a difficult childhood with fight and abuse between parents, or abandoned, or raised by a single parent. This set of children grow up to have lost family ties. This set of men need to heal before they start their own family.
Can’t sacrifice his Sleep
There are some Men who can sacrifice anything on earth to have good sleep. They want to low down and relax whenever they feel like. Raising children needs a sacrifice of sleep as your baby can wake up at any time they feel like.
Sometimes you just get 2 hours of sleep at night. It’s not always possible for a mother to stay awake and do the required, her partner needs to intervene and help her out. You need to take turns else one of you might fall ill. If your man is not willing to give away his sleep, then he is definitely not ready to be a Dad.
Patience is a mandatory trait
Your man needs to be patient and tolerant of the new member of your family. Newborns have their own schedule to eat sleep and poop. You have to adjust to your kid’s need and have your biological set accordingly.
If your man is rigid and has his own ways of viewing things, doesn’t want to adapt to the new changes, then you need to give a thought about his ability to raise a child.
He is scared to be trapped
Your man needs to be committed to you before you decide to have a family. He may have hopped into many relationships and is scared of the thought of being trapped by fatherhood. Think about starting your family with such a person.
Should be vigilant
Your man needs to keep details of your doctor’s appointment, your medicines, your food and diet, your fitness, and his own well being when you are expecting. He needs to be vigilant and careful as he cannot manage to miss important dates. If he is forgetful and doesn’t consider changing for you, then he is definitely not ready to raise your child.
Men have their own part of the responsibility when their partner is expecting. He should be ready to take care of his family in every way. It is expensive to raise a child, and of your man is still struggling then he cannot consider even look after another life. In order to have his self-esteem, he needs to earn and earn well to take care of his family.
He’s happy with his relationship the way it is
Your man may be head over heels in love with you and has no space for a third person, even if that’s your own kid, then you need to calm down. He might be scared to have your attention written from him to the child. This is a serious concern as if both of you don’t accept the change, then it’s a red flag for having a family.
He thinks he won’t be a Great Dad
Your man needs to be confident to take up his new role. If he’s not sure to raise his kid with confidence, then u need to rethink your decision. He can always get good assistance from his family, friends and his partner. Despite this, if he seems uninterested, then that’s surely a red flag to go ahead with his fatherhood journey.
How well does he take care of himself
It is crucial to see your partner who they are when you are not around. How well do they handle all the household chores like doing their laundry, cleaning up, remembering bill dates, waking up on time, etc?
When you start loving with your partner it is very likely that both of you start to adapt to your ways and find things totally normal. You need to view your habits as an outsider and make the changes. If your man handles himself well, then he will for sure take care of a newborn.
Your man may be very particular about his gym routine and loving himself for his attractive self. If he still lives in the teenage glory of having himself first above everyone, then he might not cope with his new role. At some point, being parents is keeping your child above yourself.
Consider the Age Factor
Your man may be younger to you, so your biological clock might tick to reproduce. But your partner who is in his prime youth may not be ready to take up this role. He would genuinely disagree to have kids and this cannot be forced upon.
If he’s too elder to you then he might not be interested to raise a kid cause or could be too late. Age does raise a red flag, perhaps, mutual understanding makes it different.
Kids come into your life and take away a lot of time from you. You may not have time to get a makeover or a massage. Your man may not have time to play his game, watch his sports, or go out with friends. He may be a smoker, an alcoholic, or a spendthrift. Can he sacrifice all his bad behavior and his daily favorites for a new being? Watch it and communicate before you decide.
Here are Frequently Asked Questions about signs that he is not ready to be Dad
What is the biggest trait that both parents need while raising a kid?
Teamwork is the best solution. Of your partner has sexist views on leaving the nurturing part to a mother, then that’s definitely not going to work.
What if men fight frequently but are still loving?
Your man might compensate for all arguments with his love, but that is just closing the box for a while. Bringing a kid home is bringing in more stress, increasing fights and arguments. Your arguments should not surpass the love and understanding.
Apart from all red flags, never go in with a man with parenthood if he abuses you physically. This person may be apologetic over a million times but that doesn’t compensate for your loss. You should never decide to have a baby to bind your man.
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Mother of Two children. I’m a former teacher with a background in child development and a passion for Good parenting. I understand child development and know how to develop activities to help children learn and grow. Spare time, I enjoy spending time with my family, reading, and volunteering in my community.