All parents have different ways of bringing up their little ones. The upbringing methods vary from parent to parent. Not all their ways are perfect, and it’s quite natural to make mistakes while raising children. This is why when they look back in time, they notice some mistakes they would want to rectify.
Here are some of the parenting mistakes which occur while raising children.
Scolding the children quite often than not
Reprehending your child for something he/she has done wrong is normal, but sometimes parents tend to go overboard with their punishments. They feel that to reach their expectations, they need to scold their children at every single instant to keep them on track.
This way you are just lowering their confidence and increasing the fear in their hearts. This decreases their desire for learning and leads to behavioral problems, rather than achieving what you expect from your child.
Missing out on the most important moments of your child’s life
Every parent stays busy, they have a lot of commitment towards a lot of things, and managing all of them is quite a daunting task at times. But this should not be an excuse for not being present when your child needs you the most.
May it be just the annual concert, or you have promised to take him/her out for ice cream, try to be present. This strengthens the bond with your child and brings you, people, closer.
Not taking photos or videos together
Yes, not taking photos of your child won’t be harmful to him/her in the future, but capturing those beautiful moments will sure win their hearts when they see them. The pictures will remind both of you of the amazing moments you had in the past.
These photos and albums will help your child, and you, to relive those moments and milestones together. It will remind them of the long way they have come, together, with you as their parents.
Not considering their opinions
You have often heard these phrases, “You are too young to decide”, “What do you know about this? adults know it better”. These are quite irritating and make your child feel as if they are being neglected. This makes them insecure about themselves.
How can they set their goals if you are always there to make decisions for them? Instead of neglecting their opinions completely, you can try to explain why it is a bad idea and meet them halfway.
What are the various parenting mistakes? :
- Being over-possessive
- Not considering their opinions
- Scolding them in front of others.
- Not making memories together.
Not communicating with your child properly
Probably the most important requirement in the process of upbringing your children is the communication between you both. If you don’t communicate well with your children and understand what they want, one day you will see they have grown up already, and are living a life of their own.
Not only your physical presence but also your emotional involvement is necessary for the better upbringing of children, and to make them feel loved and cared about.
Not making your child happy enough
The memories you make with your children are there with them to cherish forever. Whenever you get an opportunity, rather you should make time to hang out with them.
Take them to amusement parks, take them on a boat ride, just make memories, which they will treasure when they look back at them. Give your child a happy atmosphere to grow in and do something exciting every day so that they have a lot to adore when they grow up.
Not hugging your children often enough
Hugs are scientifically proven to reduce stress and anxiety levels and also the perfect way to show affection towards your children. Sometimes parents think that hugging them too often can make them less obedient.
This is not the case. In reality, the more you hug your children at the early stages of their lives, the lesser they will demand it when they grow up. So, hug them and hold them as often as you can when they are kids.
Following someone else’s advice, and that too often
Some people are always ready to give advice, even if no one ever asks for it. You as a parent should not let such people influence your decisions. Younger parents tend to make this mistake more.
Always remember that the child is yours and you should be able to decide what’s best for them rather than someone else. Moreover, never let a stranger scold your child. Let them know that you are always there to protect them.
What can wrong parenting lead to?
- Makes them lazy.
- Makes them difficult to take up responsibilities.
- They feel insecure.
- They are afraid to socialize.
- Makes them more demanding.
Not being consistent enough
Probably the biggest challenge that you, as a parent, have to face is being consistent, every moment of the day. Suppose you are busy and you give your kid a burger for lunch, next thing you know that he/she is demanding it every day.
Trying to follow the same standards every day might be difficult but not trying to do so often leads to regrets in the future. You kid won’t know what’s allowed and what’s not.
Not playing enough creative games with your children
Playing creative but simple games and undergoing a lot of fun activities with them is beneficial for them. Yes, it won’t necessarily make them great artists in the future but there is always a chance.
It comes with few other advantages as well. Playing with playdough or modeling clay, drawing, or making them take part in any other fun activity helps to develop their intelligence, creativity, imagination, and vocabulary. So, make sure you never miss out on this.
Not giving them financial knowledge
For reasons unknown, some parents stay away from the subject of money, in front of their kids. Without education on personal finance and responsible spending, children don’t recognize the genuine value of money.
Also, when they grow up, they think that it’s difficult to manage their income. Giving your child some pocket money will help them understand how to save up and spend wisely. Moreover, you can let your kid earn their own money.
Punishing children in front of other people
Sometimes you as parents get mad, you yell at your children and even punish them in front of others. Yes, you tend to get carried away with your emotions but it has a grave impact on your children’s mindset.
At that moment you don’t care about what others think but your children certainly do. It undermines the self-confidence of your children and makes them feel insecure. Your children feel ashamed of themselves and find it difficult to let go.
How can too much scolding affect children? :
- Makes them feel low about themselves.
- They tend to feel insecure.
- They feel ashamed of themselves.
- Undermines their self-confidence.
- Affects their mindset.
Getting influenced from the past
The way you were treated as kids tends to live an imprint on your minds. You seem to behave that same way with your children by scolding them and yelling at them the same way you were.
You are not doomed to make the same mistakes as your parents. Learn from those mistakes and try to rectify them. You should be able to shield your future generations from the negative emotions you had to go through when you were kids.
Being self-restrained and showcasing less affection towards them
You should love your children more often than not, hug them, hold them, tell them how much they mean to you even if they don’t understand it. Never run out of affection towards your children.
You might feel that too much love will make them disobedient, but in reality, less love makes them feel isolated from the family. This in turn makes it difficult for them to trust others, make new friends, or even be intimate with someone.
Having bad habits
The habits you possess as parents will be showcased in your children, so your manners, behavior, and other attributes are very essential for your kids to have good habits. There is a direct connection between the habits mothers possess and the extra weight in their children.
Research claims that the risk of obesity in young children is 75% less when the mothers try to lead a healthy lifestyle. Good habits have a positive impact on children.
Being too permissive
For you as parents, your kids are the most unique to you in this world and you try to do everything in your abilities to keep them safe. To the rest of the world, they are just like any other children.
If your children get used to the act of being permissive, they too will exhibit when they grow up. They might become selfish people with an unrealistic sense of dispensation, and hard to communicate with and be friends with.
How to rectify parenting mistakes? :
- Trying to understand them.
- Spending more time with them.
- Playing with them.
- Taking them to amusement parks and other recreational places.
- Letting them do things on their own.
Uncontrollable children will have a really hard time adjusting somewhere else. They will have a lot of disappointment and won’t know how to deal with that.
Being too overprotective might make your children find it difficult to adapt themselves outside their comfort zones. They will tend to get more scared when they take up something new and will depend on your parents for solutions. They will be afraid to take up any responsibilities like starting a business.
Making them too dependent on you
As a parent, you would never want them to fail in anything but it is indeed what will build them. Instead of doing almost everything for them, limit what you do and let them try things on their own.
It doesn’t have to be something complicated, make them do the basics on their own. It will help them to adapt themselves when they go outside their comfort zones, and enable them to take up responsibilities, without being dependent on you.
Degradation of trust
There must be specific rules concerning behavior, but children should, in any case, know that they can trust their relatives. Moreover, children’s trust (particularly teenagers’) is easy to lose when parents lose control of their emotions, alarming them.
This may lead to losing their emotional bonding with the family and not feeling ensured. Children can develop better and grow up to be responsible adults when their families are like a safe island that they can venture out to investigate the world from.
Children learn how to cope with various situations and circumstances by watching their parents. They observe how you people as parents react to the problem and deal with it, so you need to be the proper example to your kids.
When you are being rude to them or to someone else you are creating this impression that it is the way to deal with them, and this is what they learn when they grow up leading to anger management issues.
Signs of a good parent:
- Understands their child’s emotions.
- Respects them even though they are younger.
- Spends time with them.
- Don’t force them to take up things against their will.
- Don’t ignore their problems no matter how minute they are.
Ignoring their problems
A problem doesn’t get resolved on its own. When you are dealing with your children you need to hear and understand their problems.
After a serious fight, you need to try and fix the situation. You must calm yourself down and speak concerning your children, and in a neutral tone. Try to know the problem from their perspective and tell them why you got angry. Make them understand and calm them down. A hug works just fine here.
Your old feelings of grudge against your parents can prompt a complete repugnance for their parenting techniques. Therefore, when we start our own families, we may drive it excessively far when attempting to do things another way.
For instance, if our parents were excessively authoritarian, we may give a lot of freedom to our children. Likewise, this overcompensation can’t be useful for children; they may feel abandoned and not required.
Overindulging your kids
Kids love gifts, and parents love offering them to them. However, research shows that when you give your kids whatever they desire, they give up on abilities identified with mental strength, like self-discipline.
You need your kids to grow up realizing that it’s possible to accomplish what they need, on the off chance that they work for it. Parents can help kids learn self-control by setting appropriate rules for things like completing homework at the right time or doing chores.
From the above points it can be concluded that to be a good parent and someone your child trusts and has faith in, you must avoid the stated mistakes. You need to make them understand that no matter what happens you are always there for them, and you are going to be the biggest example for them in their lives.
[Image] Infographic Content:
12 benefits of good parenting according to science
- Makes them more disciplined.
- Enhances their responsibility.
- Helps them to cope with situations.
- Enables them to adapt to circumstances out of their comfort zones.
- Gives them the confidence to take up new things in life.
- Doesn’t make them feel abandoned.
- Allows them to cope with problems calmly.
- Increases their emotional bonding with the family.
- Boosts their creativity.
- Helps them to stay healthy.
- They do not turn out to be selfish.
- They become less permissive and more optimistic.
- 101+ Awesome Inspiring Parenting Quotes
- 10+ Common Mistakes Dads Make While Raising Kids
- 18 Things Great Parents do Greatly
- 10 Tips How Can Dads Raise Liars
- 20 Ways to Deal with Personal Issues in Front of Children
Mother of Two children. I’m a former teacher with a background in child development and a passion for Good parenting. I understand child development and know how to develop activities to help children learn and grow. Spare time, I enjoy spending time with my family, reading, and volunteering in my community.