To have a consistent and good painting style is very difficult. Most of the time, parents don’t realize that their way of raising the child may have an adverse effect on them. Humans tend to use the blueprint of their upbringing for raising their kids. The social environment and society are going through a huge evolution, so one needs to bring necessary changes when required.
Scolding your child may make him do a specific task but in return may leave a wrong impression on them. When a child goes through bad parenting like lack of affection, then they grow up with negative traits like aggressiveness, low self-esteem, hostile and anti-social behavior.
Whatever the parents will teach their child will help in shaping their perspective, viewpoint, goal, and attitude. An optimal balance between love, responsibility, and time is needed for good parenting.
Sometimes it is difficult to analyze whether we are adopting bad parenting or good parenting traits. As bad parenting can damage a child’s future, so here are some signs that you need to look out to see if you have adopted bad parenting traits or not.
Signs Of Bad Parenting
Several incidences and actions can make you adopt bad parenting traits. Here are some terrible parenting traits:
- Reprimanding Excessively: If you scold or reprimand your child excessively for their mistake, then it can negatively impact the child. The situation can worsen if the child has confessed anything or showed honesty by accepting their mistake.
- Disciplining: To have discipline in your life is very important, but if you lose patience or scold your child in front of others to discipline them, then it will shatter the child’s confidence.
- A lot Of Advice Without Encouragement: Instead of encouraging the child to do something you keep on advising them on everything.
- Not Showing Affection: Some parents refrain from showing their affection towards their child. This makes the child feel emotionally disconnected from their parents.
- No Rules: To grow up as a healthy individual, a child needs to stay in their boundaries. Rules help the child to build discipline, and without that, they will suffer in the external environment.
- Not Supporting The Child: A child looks for support from their parents when they are in a stressful situation like an exam or school performance. When you are more concerned about your office or work, then it will make the child feel anxious and neglected.
- Compare: If you are one of those parents who keep on comparing their child with their relative neighbors or friends, then it is a toxic trait. When you are continually comparing the child, you are emulating the positive characteristics that they have.
- Not Acknowledging Their Achievement: You never acknowledge the achievement of your child or are proud of them.
- Criticize Them: If you always use a criticizing tone when the child does something, then it leaves a damaging effect on them.
- Disrespecting Their Feelings: When you are disregarding the feelings or opinions of your child, then it can lead to an unhealthy upbringing.
- Not Allowing The Child To Make A Choice: If you are someone who decides everything for their child and does not give them the liberty to choose, then it is a negative trait.
- Pampering Too Much: For every parent their child is special. Some parents go a step further and pamper their children excessively. This makes the child develop bad behavior that can lead to social isolation.
- Overprotective: The parent must protect their child from the unimaginable danger that they might face. If you are overprotective and monitor each step of your child, then they will develop a fearful attitude and will be afraid to make new friends or take any risk to try something new.
- Not Trusting Your Child: If you do not allow the child to make their own decisions or if you are sure that your child will only make wrong choices, then it shows that you don’t trust your child.
- Not Spending Time With Them: If you are always working or busy scrolling the phone when your child wants attention, then it will make them feel unimportant and neglected.
Impact of bad parenting on children
- Poor Resilience:
Children learn from their parents when it comes to dealing with hardships, physical trauma, mental trauma, or emotional trauma.
Bad parenting will make the child unable to face any crisis, so they won’t be able to handle any negative emotions.
- Aggression:
Even the kindergartners develop explosive aggression or anger issues if they have a terrible relationship with their parents.
The child will develop aggressive behavior if their parents use rough handling techniques or show negative behavior towards the kid during the infant stage.
- Lack Of Empathy:
The child will become comfortable in behaving with other people, in the same manner, their parents treat them. If the parent mistreats them at home, then they will lack empathy when they will be in public places or when they will talk to other people. In the long run, the child develops apathy.
- Anti-social Behaviour:
Some children may develop anti-social behavior like substance abuse, crime, poor health, mental health issues, etc., due to bad parenting.
The condition is also aggravated due to domestic violence, drug abuse, or maternal depression. These symptoms are also aggravated when children face negative, coercive, and critical behavior from their parents.
- Depression:
According to the research, it has been confirmed that parents who use a negative approach towards their children make the children vulnerable to depression.
It not only creates a path to depression, but it also includes a lack of physical and emotional support, unhealthy emotions or negative emotions, physical punishment, etc.
- Criminal Behaviour:
When it comes to dealing with mischievous children, some parents try corporal punishment. Moreover, physical reprehension, when used on a child repeatedly, then it will make the child think that they can also hit someone if something goes wrong.
When the child grows up, this thinking will make them inclined towards immoral activities that can harm others.
- Failing To Maintain A Relationship:
Bad parenting can impact a child in a way that they may develop brash behavior or low self-confidence.
The parents won’t invest in the child’s upbringing emotionally so the child will develop the inability to express their emotions or interact with anyone.
- Psychological Disorder:
When parents adopt the wrong parenting style, then the child can have a mental disorder that will be hard to rectify or cure in the future. There is a high chance that they will be socially misfit when they grow up.
Children with psychological disorders won’t be able to grasp any opportunity, and therefore, they will become an outcast.
How To Become A Good Parent
The initial step that you need to take is admitting that you have developed bad parenting traits. To overcome the shortcomings, you need to adopt good parenting traits. Some of them are discussed below:
- Avoid Shouting:
Instead of scolding or shouting at your child, make sure you are handling the situation calmly. Try to sit and listen to their problem if their actions have made you upset.
If there is a problem in school, then you can ask them to explain the situation of the difficulties that they are facing. This will help you to understand their mindset and explain to them why their actions can have enormous consequences.
- Give Them Reasons:
To make your child do something, it is essential to explain to them the reason behind it.
For example, you can also tell a child to complete their homework first so that they can go for playing. This will motivate the child to accomplish the task.
- Set Rules:
Before setting any new rules, you must discuss it with the children. They will understand why the rules are set and why they should abide by them. It will make the child feel important and will also boost their self-esteem.
They will be in charge of their actions, so they will think twice before that they are breaking any rule.
- Allow The Child To Make Choices:
Instead of making all the decisions for your child give the child the freedom to make their own choices. Before you make any choice for the child, you can also ask for their opinion.
This will also help the child to develop strong decision-making capabilities and make them more responsible.
- Set a good example:
Your actions will speak louder than your words. Parents must do positive things to set an example before their child.
It will help them to learn healthy habits and refrain from the bad ones. If you practice bad parenting, then it is your flaw so you must bring the change.
- Avoid physical abuse:
Every parent faces a situation where their child misbehaves to an extent which makes them lose their calmness. Instead of raising your hand during such a situation, try to take a deep breath.
A child who faces physical violence may develop a psychological disorder that might affect the development in the long run. They will take this behavior from their parents and make it a blueprint for raising their children.
- Listen When Needed:
When your child has something to say listen to it with undivided attention. The child may talk about their achievement or how the day was, which may seem trivial to you but might mean a lot to your child.
Do not override their words as it will hurt them. Appreciate your child when they are honest and truthful.
- Inculcate Punishment And Reward:
One of the most effective ways to discipline your child is to reward them for their good behavior and punish them for their bad behavior.
In this way, the child will be able to understand what they should do and what they should not. Refrain from giving any physical punishments.
- Don’t Make The Child Feel Suffocated:
Instead of hovering around and always controlling your child at every step, as a parent, you must provide the freedom.
- Build An Emotional Relationship:
One must emotionally invest themselves when they are raising their child.
When you are the guardian, then you must think beyond striking the emotional rapport and providing creature comfort. This will help the child to grow under a healthy upbringing.
Takeaway
Parents face a lot of hurdles when it comes to raising their children. Preparing a perfect parenting philosophy is difficult. Bad parenting may not always be harmful to the child, but it can leave a long-lasting impact on their minds.
Parenting is not limited to imparting of wisdom to the child but to also give them the freedom to grow and express themselves.
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Mother of Two children. I’m a former teacher with a background in child development and a passion for Good parenting. I understand child development and know how to develop activities to help children learn and grow. Spare time, I enjoy spending time with my family, reading, and volunteering in my community.