It puts a huge responsibility on your shoulders when you come to know that your friend is going through infertility. You should remember that a friend when tells you about his or her inability to conceive, a single statement of yours can have cavernous impacts on your friend.
Why is supporting a friend going through infertility necessary?
- It can provide mental support to your friend.
- You can contribute to bringing your friend away from depression.
- You can help her to make sure that life should be as normal as it used to be.
- You can make her understand that adoption is also a process that will help her become a mum.
Also, when your friend enlightens you about their incapability, he or is she looking for some comfort from one of their closest persons.
Support Your Friend Going Through Infertility
In a situation where your best friend might be going through infertility and has no Possibility of Pregnancy, you need to be more empathetic and compassionate than ever and try to succor your friend. So, let us see what you can do to ease your friend going through this despondency.
Let your friend know that you care
You must let your friend know that you care about them. You must make them understand that you are interested in listening to them and you are with them in this affliction. Be a bit more expressive so that your friend can understand that you are at their disposal.
Do not let your friend develop this impression that you are not interested in listening to their problem. Remember that you are one of the most reliable people in their lives and any negative vibes from you can worsen the whole situation by many folds.
Do some basic researches
In this 20th century, accessibility to the internet is available to most of the people. So, to extend your hand of support to your friend, you should be well aware of the facts that can help you comfort your friend more.
Search for some of the reasons for which infertility can occur. Learn about some of the treatments that your friend can undergo to cure his or her infertility. Learn about the options that are available to your friend to come out of this deep sorrow.
Ask them about their requirements
It may so happen that your friend is unable to decide on the right path to follow. He or she may be confused about what to do next. You should talk to your friend regarding what exactly is the thing that they seek.
Your friend may be looking for a good doctor or it can so happen that your friend is afraid to come out about his or her infertility due to social stigma. If such situations arise, talk to your friend and try to find out what they want.
If you think your friend is unable to decide what to do next, you can suggest whatever you feel is right. Keep in mind, your friend is very vulnerable now. Do not impose your decisions or do not get offended if they do not comply.
Visit doctors if they ask you to do so
Your friend may lack confidence at times and may look for your support more than anything else. So, try to support them as much as you can. This may include visiting doctors if they ask you to. Do not hesitate for once in such situations. Make sure you help your friend Handle Negative Pregnancy Test with ease.
Also, you may think that this is their extreme matter and your involvement may not be acceptable. But remember that you are given that space to enter your friend’s personal matter. So, do not question yourself or be hesitant regarding this matter.
Go out for walks
Infertility can lead to severe anxiety and can lead your friend to remain in solitude. Staying in such a condition for a long time can affect your friend severely in multiple ways. In such a condition, your friend would need a companion.
Ask your friend to join you for the evening or morning walks. You can also ask your friend to join you for exercise sessions or yoga classes. This can keep your friend engaged and can divert him or her from the mental pain he or she is going through.
Besides the above things, you and your friend can join in some other extracurricular activities in which you both are interested. This will be a significant step towards comforting your friend from what they are facing.
Look after their kids
It may happen that your friend is trying for a second kid. In such situations, you can very well look after their older kids if they need to see a doctor. Also, the mental condition can affect them so much that they stop caring about everything else.
If such situations arise, you should not be hesitant about taking care of their children unless they become normal again. Meanwhile, you can talk to your friends and explain to them that they need to be more responsible for their children.
Do not curtail their problem
The inability to conceive a baby can be of immense pain and not everyone can understand it. Being a friend, never curtail their problem by trying to comfort them. Do not say anything that can make them feel inferior or different from the rest of the parents.
You may say things that you feel are to comfort them but they can have adverse effects on your friends. This can build up an inferiority complex in them and can lead them to much worse conditions. Try to suggest some solutions rather than curtailing the issue.
Do not say anything insensible
Try to restrain yourself from saying anything that is insensible. This can break down your friend into pieces. You may not be mentally very well to listen to what your friend has got to say to you and in such situations, get back to them later.
A bad mood of yours can ruin the whole thing for your friend. So, a statement like ‘stop wasting money’ or ‘you are not capable’ can cause irreversible damages. Thus, try to be sensible as much as you can.
Things cannot normalize automatically
No, infertility cannot be automatically cured. It may worsen over time. So, never give them this reason to relax. You may not have facts that can comfort them but that should not lead you to ask them to relax in such situations.
This will make them stop sharing their issues with you eventually and may affect their mental health. So, do some basic research and get back to them later so that you can guide them properly with their on-going problem.
Do not suggest adoption in the first place
Your suggestion to adopt a baby is indeed a very wise one but never ask them to adopt a baby the very moment you come to know about their problem of infertility. Do some research on the different treatments available and ask them to get treated.
If they fail to conceive even after treatments, you may ask them to go for adoption. Also, adoption requires mental preparation and also a proper environment. So, they need time to prepare for adoption and this cannot be feasible in the first place.
Do not gossip about your friend’s infertility
You should never disclose your friend’s infertility condition among your mutual friends or colleagues or the people known to both of you. This can break the trust your friend has on you. Also, your friend may lose the only person they find comfortable talking to.
So, try not to discuss your friend’s infertility with anyone else. You may ask for suggestions from people you trust. In this case, you must not disclose your friend’s name in any condition. Secrecy must be maintained at all costs.
Do not joke
Try not to joke about the treatment that your friend is undergoing. This can be extremely insensitive and will make your friend stop going through the treatment procedures. Rather, encourage them more in case the treatment fails.
Do not talk about IVF
IVF is the most common option available to people facing the issue of infertility. But it is an extremely expensive process and not every couple unable to conceive can go for IVF as a solution to their infertility. Money can restrain them from opting for this method.
So, do not ask your friend to go for this process unless you are aware of their financial capability. Also, if they are trying for IVF and need some monetary bits of help, you may think of helping them for this humanitarian cause without any expectations.
Talk about therapy
In the end, you can talk to your friend about going to therapy. Infertility can affect your friend mentally in unimaginable ways. This can be extremely anxious and depressing for your friend. This may need proper treatment.
So, upon understanding the scenario, ask your friend to undergo therapy for a better life. This will be extremely urgent as well as important for your friend. You may also suggest your friend a good psychiatrist if need be.
These are the small bits that you can do for your friend going through infertility. Try to be more compassionate and caring than ever because this is what your friend needs the most. Also, pray for your friend’s fast conceiving if under treatment.
Here are some Important Frequently Asked Questions
Shall we ignore discussions if we lack supporting facts?
You should not ignore the discussion but tell them clearly that you need some more research.
Do we tell them about our pregnancy?
Yes, you should. But make sure you are not showing off. Try to act normal.
Can we discuss the problems of pregnancy that we face?
No. You should not complain about the problems that you face during your pregnancy.
Shall we offer monetary bits of help?
You may offer monetary bits of help if they ask for it. Also, it is dependent on the financial capability that you have.
Shall we ask them to wait if they are still young?
It is always best to start as soon as possible. Do not ask them to wait by saying to them that they are still young.
- A Man’s Guide to Support Partner Going through Infertility
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- 13 Myths about Infertility in Couples (With Facts)
Mother of Two children. I’m a former teacher with a background in child development and a passion for Good parenting. I understand child development and know how to develop activities to help children learn and grow. Spare time, I enjoy spending time with my family, reading, and volunteering in my community.