10 Ways to Control Negative Emotions in Your Kids

Emotional Development in a Child usually takes place at the age of 3. It again depends on a lot of factors around them as in how they speculate the emotions around them. Negative emotions are frustration, irritation, failure, sadness, disappointment, etc and these are natural emotions in the development of being human.

But as parents, we want to protect them from such emotions and in the process of soothing them, we are igniting some dangerous consequences. 

Negative Emotions can never fade or deteriorate but it just resurfaces in dangerous and violent ways. Hence, emotions are to be expressed to be released from the outrage and create a healthy mental peace. Children should be schooled at this release of negative emotions in a positive way. 

How can negative emotions impact your child

  • Negative emotions can cause a child to be depressed.
  • Negative emotions might not allow your kids to make a lot of friends.
  • Negative emotions can change your kids’ outlook on life.
  • Your kid can start living with the fact that nothing is going to be right. 

10 ways to deal with negative emotions in a child

It is very challenging to understand emotion and let that be in your control by reaping it and accepting it and coming out stronger rather than stuffing it down. So what can we do to help our children move through such emotions and come out healthier?


As parents, we need to be very approachable. When your child comes and discusses a discomfort with you like a bad dream, the unhealthy relationship among peers, classroom uneasiness, or any other displeasure then you need to give a healthy reaction to it. Instead of sympathizing and saying ‘sorry’ or rewarding them to trample their feelings, you should rather empathize with them. 

We should believe and give an instance of how we may have gone through that same discomfort. Acknowledgment is an important way to control their anxiety and negative emotion.

Development of a child’s emotional vocabulary

Safe expression of feelings through a vocab becomes easy to label an emotion in a child. When a child uses a word or a group of words to express exactly how they are feeling then it becomes easy for a parent to share their discomfort. 

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Regulate yourself

Before you try to comfort the child, it is very important that you are emotionally healthy. You need to understand that ‘Don’t cry’ is not a solution to a problem and crying is not a negative emotion but an expression. 

You cannot rise in rage to calm down the child. Two negatives here produce a bleak. Regulate your own emotions before you try to bring down the negative emotions of a child or else we may unknowingly scar their feelings further.

Encourage the child to forgive himself/herself for mistakes

Emotional upset is caused less by specific situations or events and more by how we tell ourselves about that situation. A child will be emotionally stressed when he realizes that he has done a disaster that cannot be mended. 

Grades and Marks become important for such children who get upset with failure after hard work. They should be able to forgive themselves and find a way out to accept the failure and their mistakes with a lesson that it is a part and way of life.

Physical Health is very important

Fatigue increases problems with emotional control. The daily routine of good food and sound sleep can better regulate the emotions and help children to have a healthy lifestyle with zest and vigor. Physical well-being leads to emotional excellence as children can cope with problems with a positive spirit.

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Don’t punish your child for displaying a negative emotion

If your child has a temper tantrum, it is best to not interfere and let the fury pass before you speak about it. You can accept the emotions, but not their bad behavior. You can make it understandable that some behavior is not acceptable. But that doesn’t mean you give them punishment in any form for displaying their emotions. You will instigate them unknowingly with such acts of unacceptable.

Authoritarian parenting boosts negative emotions

There is a difference between authoritarian parenting and authoritative parenting.  Authoritarian parenting focusses on blind obedience from children, where parents become dictators and expect the children to be obligated towards their upbringing. Children are filled with anxiety, suppressed emotions, and depression when they find discomfort in their parents. 

Authoritative Parenting is different where parents set rules for their children but nurture, comfort, and communicate with a positive attitude. There is no fear of punishment here but limitations on freedom and right discipline are inculcated which leads to the development of positive emotions in children.

Provide a Healthy outlet

It is very difficult to express emotions like sorrow, embarrassment, or despair. So it is important to offer an opportunity for children to have their emotions come out in a healthy way. It can be expressed through drawing, painting, dancing, singing which can be amazingly healing. Expression of feelings on dolls and toys, enacting emotions on them could be a healthy way to subside negative emotions.

Gender Factor

Society has its own stereotypical ways of setting rules in raising a girl child and a boy child. A girl is supposed to be good all the time so she suppresses her anger through tears. A boy child is not supposed to be weak so he suppresses his emotions through violence and anger. 

Gender factors should be wiped off and children should be left to feel all the emotions irrespective of their gender. This will have a positive impact on controlling negative outrage.

Related: Reasons For Raising Kind Children

Identify the people who support your child

Friends and Teachers play a very important role in a child’s life. It is important to find out a list of people who can communicate very well with your child when they need support or could possibly influence them positively. 

Teachers play an important role in identifying those people as they can seek help from children and have the names out. It could be a relative, friend, grandparents or parents, cousins, or a sibling or even a doctor or a neighbor. 

Frequently asked questions(FAQs) to Control Negative Emotions in Your Kids

How to deal with a child who has a bad temperament and is discouraged?

Positive reinforcement is the best way to deal with a child who is discouraged and has issues with a bad temper. Everyone likes to be encouraged and patted for the hard work or effort they have put in despite the results. Few phrases like ‘I’m proud of you!’, ‘I’m impressed!’, ‘ You were so good’, ‘ Thank You for doing this..’ does wonder with appreciation cooling-off bad temper. 

Which are the dangerous emotions in a child and have to be taken seriously?

Fear, sadness, and anger are simple negative emotions and very natural in human beings. But there is a red flag when children feel withdrawal from their activities, is dealing with bullying, adopts self-harm for temporary relief from anger,  use of alcohol or drugs to get rid of the anger and guilt. This should be treated as an emergency as it leads to depression.

What are the mood boosters for children?

Watching a funny video along with your child, reading a story of encouragement, playing with a pet, letting them scream out their pain, eating a healthy snack, or texting a close friend.

What are the positive traits of a negative emotion that may be good in a child?

Anger can seek mediation, jealousy makes you work harder, anxiety opens up new solutions to different problems,  guilt helps to change negative behavior. These emotions can be turned into a positive boost.


We cannot escape from negative emotions as adults, so the same has to be expected from children. They have to be encouraged in expressing their emotions, as a way of life by controlling it and not being under its control.

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