Anger is the body’s fight response, and just like other people, kids also experience anger. As the child grows up, they develop the capacity to manage their anger and handle it healthily. Some parents are surprised to see that their small child carries a bundle of rage in them and become easily frustrated.
How To Do Deal With An Angry Child
- Empathize with the child’s emotions and accept them.
- Teach them some constructive ways to solve a problem.
- Try to stay calm.
- Make your child feel safe and maintain calmness during the aggressive moment.
- All types of feelings are important, be it happiness or anger.
- Praise the child when they are constructively managing their anger.
- Create an anger thermometer to measure their degree of rage.
- Allow them to talk about their feelings.
- Teach them some techniques to manage anger.
- Let the child face the consequences of their aggressive behavior.
- Restrict them from watching or playing programs or games that have violence.
- Do not encourage the aggressive behavior of the child.
- Do not try to explain the child with reasoning when they are angry.
- Do not get physical with the child.
- Take a break to allow yourself and the child to calm down.
Tips On Parenting An Angry Child
When the child is suffering from anger issues, it can lead to severe risks and harm their siblings, parents, and themselves. If you want to understand the reason behind their behavior, then you need to communicate.
It is normal for your child to lack impulse control, language, or abilities to solve problems effectively. Hence, they will show explosive behavior to grab the attention of the people surrounding them.
So here are some healthy and practical approaches which you can use to parent your angry child.
Control Aggressive Impulses
As a parent, you should empathize and accept your child’s emotions so that your child can understand that not all emotions are needed to be acted on.
Maintaining calm when the child shows anger will help the child learn the skill of staying calm and communicating the feelings without hurting property or people.
Constructive Way Of Problem Solving
Most children will use the tool of anger to make changes in any situation. You need to help them to come up with a constructive way of solving the problem. Your child will learn how to express his wants and needs by maintaining calmness and without attacking anyone verbally and physically.
The child will be able to analyze their contribution to the problem instead of victimizing. It will take several years for the child to learn all the skills under parental guidance. It will help in controlling the anger outburst of the child. The way you deal with your naughty one can also play a role when parenting the angry kids.
Begin With Yourself
It takes a great deal of effort to remain calm during turbulence situations. If you are shouting or yelling at your angry child, it will make the situation worse.
If you are having the habit of yelling at your child, they will copy that behavior. If you can control yourself from yelling at your child, it will give your child the ability to control their anger. The child will always learn how to handle conflict and disagreement by watching their parents.
| What to do when the child is showing aggressive behavior? –Parents should stay calm and avoid reasoning. –Understand the reason behind their anger. –Allow the child to calm down and then communicate with them. |
De-escalating
When your child is angry, will, and you are maintaining calm, it will help the child feel safe. It will make development in the brain’s neural pathway and shut off the flight or fight response. Now the frontal cortex of their brain will take over and help them to start reasoning.
All Feelings Are Important
When the child is expressing anger, you need to understand that they want to feel heard. Instead of telling the child to act appropriately or calm down, you need to start communicating. Use appropriate language and tone to talk to them.
After talking about their feelings, they are going to apologize spontaneously. It is essential to accept different emotions, but you need to limit the emotion’s negative actions.
Teach The Child To Manage Their Anger Impulses
You need to teach your child ways to manage their anger. Create a list of constructive ways to help them handle their emotions and let them practice it.
Follow proper tips to help kids avoid negative emotions as well.
Limit The Aggression
If you understand their feelings, that does not indicate that you are encouraging destructive actions. Never allow your child to hit other people or parents when they are angry.
Do not allow them to break anything when they are angry because it will make them feel guilty and label themselves as bad people.
Praise Their Good Behaviour
When you find that the child is constructively dealing with their anger, do not forget to praise their good behavior.
Anger Thermometer
Anger thermometers are trendy. Create a chart where on the zeroth position, it will indicate no anger; at the fifth position, it will mean medium anger, and on the tenth position, it will mean most anger.
You need to tell your child that whenever they are getting angry, their body starts to show signs, which will help them understand before they explode at scale 10.
Talk About Feelings
When the child fails to verbalize their feelings and thinks that nobody understands them, they start to misbehave to gain attention.
You need to teach your child all the basic feelings like scared, happy, mad, and sad. Tell your child that they are looking happy or angry. This will help them to label all their emotions over time.
You should make them learn about sophisticated words like disappointed, frustrated, worried, and lonely. It will help them to understand their feelings in a better way.
| What are the benefits of learning about feeling? It will help the child to identify their emotion or feelings and communicate about it. Most children misbehave when they fail to verbalize their feelings. |
Techniques To Manage Anger
Various anger management techniques will allow your angry child to calm themselves down. Tell your child to take deep breaths whenever they feel upset or take a quick walk or count up to 10, as all this will help control their anger and prevent an outburst.
When you are parenting an angry child, you need to teach them self discipline and impulse control skills. Understand all secrets associated with raising well-behaved kids.
Consequences
Consistent disciplining is essential to let the child learn that disrespectful behavior or aggression is not acceptable. When the child breaks a bowl, you can take away some of the privileges to discipline them.
If the child breaks something during their anger outburst, tell them to repair it themselves, or raise money to fix it.
| What consequences the child should face? Ask the child to perform damage control like fixing things that they broke during an aggressive moment. Perform consistent disciplining and give punishment if they show disrespectful behavior. Take their privileges away until they accept their fault. |
Restrict Them From Consuming Violent Media
If the child struggles with their aggressive behavior, do not allow them to play violent video games, or watch violent TV shows. Prevent them from watching violent content and provide them with books or games to help them develop healthy conflict resolution skills.
Do Not Encourage The Behavior
Do not encourage your child to continue their aggressive behavior. Avoid agreeing to them when they are wrong to make things stop.
Avoid Reasoning With Them While Angry
When your child is angry, do not try to talk with logic. Adults try to diffuse any tense situation using reason, but angry kids’ reasoning is not effective because they don’t have the capacity. When you are trying to explain to the angry child, it will challenge them and trigger more anger.
Avoid Hitting The Child
If you are getting physical and hitting the child, then it is going to escalate the fight. If you get physical with them, make sure that you apologize genuinely and take responsibility for your actions.
If you are hitting the child during aggressive moments, you are just teaching your child to solve all the problems using aggression. This is definitely a sign of bad parenting.
| Why should you not hit the child? Hitting will worsen the situation and escalated the fight.It teaches the child that they can use aggression to solve their problem. It will make the child feel unsafe around you. |
Take A Break
When adults fight, they try to achieve calmness and start reasoning the situation by taking a break. Since reasoning with a child is not possible when they are angry, so it is better to take a break and then interact with the child when both of you are calm.
Frequently Asked Questions on Helping Angry Children
Which things should parents never say to their child?
Parents should never tell their child that the child is a mistake, and they don’t love the child.
Why do some children suffer from anger issues?
Most children show anger issues or aggressive behavior if they are not getting what they want. Other mental health conditions that can also lead to anger issues are autism, ADHD, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Can the anger of a parent affect the child?!
Yes, parental anger can impact the child and lead them to develop aggressive behavior. It will also lead them to experience depression, spouse abuse, social alienation, etc. Hence the child of an angry parent becomes non-compliant and aggressive.
Takeaway
You can teach your child anger management techniques with time. It is essential to analyze the behavior and identify their anger triggers. It is necessary to be present and listen to what they feel as it will significantly reduce their aggressive behavior.
Teach the child that even if they are angry, still destructive behavior will not be encouraged. Allow your child to cool down and discuss their feelings to understand that by communicating, they can channelize their anger in a better way.
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Mother of Two children. I’m a former teacher with a background in child development and a passion for Good parenting. I understand child development and know how to develop activities to help children learn and grow. Spare time, I enjoy spending time with my family, reading, and volunteering in my community.
